i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
