You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
