Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
