thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
