Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
