Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
