I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
so let's talk penis.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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