Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
