woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
