That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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