I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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