I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
thus making me awesome and them whores
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
