So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize