Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
