DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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