So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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