You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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