fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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