so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
