I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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