i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
i've created a new STD.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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