Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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