I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
