i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize