ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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