god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
