dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
