Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
