ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
my poor anus
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
