That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..