? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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