Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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