even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
