u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
