There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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