Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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