you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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