i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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