Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
