So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
