dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize