dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
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