Tell her she can't have a vagina
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
