im drinking this country out of the recession.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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