He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
