You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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