why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
