first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
