I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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