your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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