im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
