That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize