Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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