I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
