I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Bring me that man meat
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
