It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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