I'd wear matching sweaters with you
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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