when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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