Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
