Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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