Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
