Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
