Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
