dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize