they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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