just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
