how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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